Marketing And Mental Stability

For most of my adult life- I’ve been unable to hold a job long-term. The only job I actually had for years I should have been fired from several times over because I was undiagnosed and unaware of my rights as a person with a Disability. A friend tipped me off to freelance writing through the internet- a discipline called “web copy writing”. Web copy is essentially the text you find around on the internet.

This suited me well because I have been writing for fun and myself for about 20 years. It was even better because the work was so modular. I could take on a few projects or work 14 hours if I was escalated and then take a week off if I needed to without any real repercussions. I did this for about a year before I wrote and posted my Bipolar Manifesto; and am still doing it now until I move into mental health fully. Most of my work is done for marketers, small, and medium business owners.

Because most of my work is done for marketers- I spent a lot of time researching marketing and propaganda techniques because these things are at the center of what I do for these people. Many will hear the term “propaganda” and automatically associate it with negativity. It isn’t always negative though it is all over the place. Brilliant marketers and propagandists have long driven various aspects of societal values.

Examples? The idea of women shaving their legs as a grooming and beauty standard was created by marketers to sell razors. Diamonds for engagement/wedding rings was a standard created by diamond companies to sell more diamonds. Another good example is the perception of the American Tea Party as a bunch of nutjobs because the mainstream media paraded a few in front of the public, like Bachmann and Palin, throughout an election cycle.

Why? Despite cries of “liberal bias” in the media; there are several staunch conservatives throughout the big media networks. People like Murdoch with several ties to politicians on the Right. Vilifying the Tea Party as a bunch of half-literate psychopaths was a move to protect the Republican voter base. If you have two major parties on the right splitting the voters among different candidates, then you can no longer compete with the Left because the split could be 40/30/30 between Democrats/Tea Party/Republicans. Why do you think there is only one candidate per party in Presidential elections?

Also- save your hate mail/posts. I’m not Democrat either. Both sides are completely full of and do the exact same shit.

Marketing is all around you, all the time. It shapes perceptions, thoughts, and opinions without most people ever realizing it. Unfortunately, psychiatric medication is one of those areas where this is prevalent. Unlike many other relatively harmless areas- misinformation about psychiatric medication can cost the person years of lost time or death.

So I want to take this time to educate you so you can separate the bullshit from reality.

*Eliminate the obvious. Words like “miracle”, “revolutionary”, “unrivaled”, “unprecedented”, and “what they don’t want you to know” are buzzwords. They are solely marketing tools meant to grab your attention. Unfortunately, many legitimate products have to use these phrases to be competitive as well. Just be aware that they don’t actually say anything about the product in question.

*The idea of “Big Pharma” is perpetuated by people that don’t even understand how the industry works in a number of cases I’ve seen. Most drugs are patented in the development phase when the company is dumping a shitload of money into their research formula before it ever hits a test group. A US patent lasts for 20 years. Many drugs will have as long as a ten year development and testing cycle. The remaining time is used to recoup the cost of development and turn a profit. That’s why new meds typically cost a lot of money. Some pharm companies have taken to what is called “evergreening” where they slightly alter the formula and apply for a new patent. It’s a practice that is definitely in the gray area but given how much these companies have to dump into development it’s not all that surprising. In many cases, companies will start producing generics after the patent period has elapsed. So the idea that these companies are ogrish monstrosities trying to hook you on drugs for the rest of your life or just not try to cure disease doesn’t really make sense with the way they actually earn a profit.

*Doctors doing endorsements are generally not what they seem. I was recently offered a work order where a “Doctor” had realized this magnificent system for healing psychological and emotional wounds. It sounded like bullshit from the get-go so I decided to research this guy more. It turns out that the illustrious Doctor who had began to achieve “life-changing enlightenment at the tender age of 18” was a chiropractor- information that was not available on his website. I really had to dig to find out what he was actually a doctor of. This is common practice in advertising and it’s very useful because people automatically associate “Doctor” with “trustworthy”. So you could very well have a proctologist telling you about the evils of Big Pharma and it’s not illegal because he’s never claiming to be a psychiatrist. You see Doctor, you see this Doctor talking about psychiatry, and your brain automatically associates the two. The marketer is letting the viewer’s mind do all of the work so they think that it is their idea and thought process; but it’s not.

My approach to mental stability focuses primarily on “do what works”. Every person’s brain chemistry is as unique to them as their fingerprints. If herbal supplements, diet, and exercise work for maintaining your moods- great! Do it! My own personal preference is medication to replace the chemicals that are missing because I know from dealing with a major depression component for years that I wouldn’t be able to maintain natural means. Plus it just makes sense to me to lean towards science. There is this huge drive for “natural living” while those people ignore the fact that medical science is why lifespans are gradually increasing and mortality rates have decreased.

Skepticism is your friend. Anyone suggesting an absolute is most likely full of shit or ignorant to the facts. Neither of which will actually help you or a loved one get well. Yeah, there are shitty big companies. But there are also con artists and snake oil salesmen who operate on a much smaller scale. Anything that sounds too good to be true is- and this is even more pertinent on the internet.

You or your loved one can be well. There are tons of different things to try. The important thing is to try though. No one succeeds without trying- and you only fail if you stop picking yourself back up after a set-back. Don’t eliminate potential routes for wellness unless you have good reason to. The words of marketers are not a good reason.

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Bipolar Perception And Its Impact On Relationships

Perceiving the world through the eyes of a Bipolar person is a difficult thing to do for those with typical minds. This is especially problematic for the people who love or are friends with a Bipolar person. The question I hear most often from these folks is, “How can my loved one do such horrible things to me when they claim to love or care about me?”

Let’s explore that conundrum. Bear in mind I’m using the following example in an extreme to hopefully drive the point home. Many of us Bipolars usually float around in middle ranges unless we’re severely unwell.

Sarah and Jack are a married couple. Sarah is Bipolar. The two share a healthy, loving, attentive relationship while she is well. She loves Jack with all of her heart. A Bipolar unwell period warps the perception of Sarah. Her mind starts feeding her misinformation about the world and her life around her.

Her mind starts picking apart everything Jack does. Did he spend too long smiling at a waitress? He wants to sleep with her. Did he answer a wrong number late at night? It was the woman from work that he’s sleeping with. Late coming home from work? I knew he was sleeping with her!

The longer Sarah is unwell, the more her mind will play with these thoughts and feelings; spinning them out of proportion. Then her mind may start dredging up all of the other things from her life with Jack that didn’t go as planned. Didn’t get to finish college? Jack’s fault. Miscarriage? Jack’s fault. Work a job that she hates? Jack’s fault.

Most likely this will culminate and explode. Sarah will get into a huge fight with Jack or find some other way to lash out at him for all these wrongs that her unwell mind convinced her that he is responsible for. Now comes the verbal barbs and possibly worse. “I hate you. You’re horrible. You’re worthless. I wish I had never met you.” and liberally lace it with profanity.

This is the point that many people get wrong. They ask, “If my loved one knew they hurt me, why wouldn’t they apologize?” Because they haven’t rebalanced yet or they don’t know what to say.

When was the last time you apologized to someone you hated? At this point in time, Sarah hates Jack because her brain has fed her lies and twisted her perception about the way their life has been. She doesn’t love him right now and may take it out on him in a number of ways- a revenge affair for his “infidelity”, physical and verbal abuse, or whatever her mind may cook up.

An unwell mind will normalize eventually. She will return to her baseline and be just as in love with Jack as she always was, except now- she has this laundry list of whatever horrible things she’s said and done to him while she was severely unwell. And at this point, most of us Bipolars will be watching the ashes of yet another important thing in our lives slip through our fingers. A number of us will go silent on the matter if we don’t understand our illness very well because what can you really say? What could possibly make up for those horrible actions? “I’m sorry” is often a pale shadow compared to the wound.

That does not mean that this is how things have to go- it’s just the way they normally go because people don’t educate themselves enough on the Disorder and how to manage it.

If you are Bipolar- you need to learn to identify the indicators that you’re getting unwell. Bipolar Disorder is a mental illness; as an illness there are symptoms that signify when you are getting sick. When you are getting sick, you can then begin to pay more attention to your own thought processes to rationalize your way through them. Almost all of the above examples could have been derailed if Sarah had realized she was getting unbalanced and stopped to really examine what she was thinking. Yes, it’s hard. Yes, you won’t always get it right. But you can prevent a whole lot of damage by being critical of your own thoughts if you identify that you may be getting unwell.

If you can, look into Cognitive Therapy. A therapist can help you learn and refine these skills. You will have to work hard to learn how to manage and defuse these thoughts but it is a skill-set that you’ll use the rest of your life. You either own Bipolar Disorder or it owns you- there is no in-between.

If you are a friend/loved one- you need to know you and your limits very well. The Bipolar person in your life will probably push them and walk all over them. Being called obscenities by someone that is normally loving can be a shock; but ultimately they are just a couple of words. Keep an eye out for drastic changes in behavior. A big change in sleep patterns is a very common indicator. Any major change in moods or personal habits could be indicative of an unwell swing.

And that leads me to communication and trust. The Bipolar person needs to be able to accept that they are Bipolar, they will have drastic mood swings, and they need to be able to communicate with their loved one if they are getting sick. The well person in the relationship needs to feel comfortable with bringing up that they think the other may be getting unwell. You can learn to read and identify your partner’s symptoms. Communication can prevent a lot of needless hurt stemming from unwell thought processes because the well partner can introduce facts and reality that the unwell partner desperately needs.

Loving someone with a mood disorder isn’t always pleasant. Never take on more than you are able to. Each person has their own lines and limits that they know can’t be crossed. It’s not unreasonable to expect the Bipolar in your life to work to minimize the damage the Disorder does. Just be aware that they will probably fail horribly at it from time to time. We all do. But- the Disorder can be managed and you can have a fairly normal relationship/friendship with the person. Every relationship has challenges, ours are just a bit different than typical.

Posted in Depression, Hypomania | 3 Comments

An Organized Approach To Medicating

I can’t count the number of times I’ve ran into Bipolars and Depressives who do not have an organized approach to finding their wellness. I’ve dealt with a lot of different people since I started living openly with being Bipolar and putting up my website. “Mental illness” is a perfectly suitable name for what we deal with. It’s an illness. It has symptoms, predictable patterns (though our actions during a pattern may not be), and a method of treatment.

But how many of us have slacked when it comes to our medication? It’s easy to do if you let yourself get mired down into morbid depression. You just keep chucking pills down your throat and hope it goes away as the weeks and months tick by. The problem is that we are sabotaging our own wellness efforts by letting the depression rule us. That’s why we need an orderly, organized approach.

Quite a few psych medications should be working by 4-6 weeks after you start taking them (check your prescriptions for specifics). There’s no reason to stay on the same dosage or medication after the maximum time has passed for the medication to be doing it’s job. If it’s not, call your doctor and get that shit either changed or increased. Chances are very good it’s not going to magically start working a month later.

One person I spoke with was taking an incorrect dosage for six fucking months! She could have tried as many as three varying dosages in addition to the original in that time. But she didn’t because she let her depression and mental illness drive her decision making processes.

If you want to be well, you have to push through the bullshit that you normally deal with to get it. An established course of action takes all the mental turmoil out of your decision making process. If it doesn’t work in 6 weeks (or a time appropriate to your prescription); get it changed. You’re only punishing yourself and the people around you by letting it go.

A similarly important point is to have some kind of idea on what “correct” medication should do for you. Everyone has different tolerances and desires. So you have to understand what you need out of your medication so you can define it as successful or a failure. Functionality, the ability to meet your basic needs as a human, and not have your mental illness destroying your relationships serves as a pretty good baseline.

It’s a bitch to get there, but you can make it. You just have to keep pushing and avoid the pitfalls your mental illness will inevitably throw in front of you.

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A Random Affirmation

I realize that I am very inconsistent with providing updates and useful information. I suppose I should have accounted for exactly how social I’m usually not before attempting to reach out to people and connect through social media means. But hey, hindsight and all of that. It isn’t that I don’t like people. It’s more that in addition to being Bipolar, my family has a history of High-Functioning Autism. Several of my social processes are just broken. I’ve learned how to adapt to them in the past few years; but it still requires a shitload of mental energy. (Also, my word processor didn’t detect shitload as being a typo- which amuses me greatly.)

But! Today I want to provide you an affirmation. I know a lot of us deal with a whole lot of bullshit on a daily basis from dealing with ignorant people to just trying to keep things together in our minds. Today may be a shit today, tomorrow may be too; but just keep moving forward. Keep trying things. If one medication or technique doesn’t work- try another. Keep trying. Keep pushing forward.

Things will never change unless you keep pushing yourself. You can conquer the chaos in your mind. You can own your mental illness instead of it owning you. Yes, it requires so much work and effort. No, it’s not fair. But neither is life. You can spend your time spiraling into depression, dwelling on it; or you can do something about it.

If I can do it- you can do it. Educate yourself on management, how medication really works, and pull out the stops to claim your mental wellness.

It’s glorious to wake up in the morning and have my first thoughts be of anything other than death or just sleeping through the day. I want that for each one of you as well. Be kind to yourself.

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Random Reflections On A Bipolar Life

I don’t usually use this blog for random musing type things but I think today is going to be an exception. Today, I just want to talk about some of the catalysts that changed how I viewed my life and past in general.

I spent about 15 years undiagnosed and lived a pretty rough existence during that time. There were times I would come back, crash with family, and level off. But every time I went out and tried to get some shit accomplished on my own my brain would just rocket all over the place. The tally is about 7 suicide attempts, college, 25ish jobs, 2 engagements, drug abuse, alcohol abuse, living in a Detroit ghetto; and a bunch of shit that isn’t coming to mind at the moment.

Then I got my diagnosis and I started to look at my past. Everything started making more sense. I did very well for myself and in jobs when I was well. It took diagnosis for me to realize that the unwell periods are when I tore everything to the ground. I’d not only burn my bridges, but I’d defecate on the ashes, whip my dick out to whoever was on the other side, and feel damned fine doing it. That was the illness.

I went through a period where I mourned a lot of the things that the Disorder cost me. There were so many opportunities I had in front of me that I could not capitalize on because I ended up tearing them all down. I felt bad about past relationships because none of the women I’ve been involved with have been the superficial or flaky types. None of those relationships failed from lack of love or affection. Instead, it was mostly my insanity that created the gaps that ended them. I was afraid of what my future was going to look like since I had been unable to build anything of real use from 17 to almost 30.

But then I stumbled on a particular career path- a Peer Specialist. Peer Specialists are people who have recovered from things like alcoholism, drug addiction, and mental illness who are trained to assist other people who are going through the same issues. It’s a fairly new discipline but several of the ideas are present in groups like Alcoholics Anonymous. The idea that there is no person better suited to help than someone who has already lived it.

In the case of the Peer Specialist, the binding motto is- “Doctors are best suited to treat the illness. Peer Specialists are best suited to treat the person.” And that’s to take nothing away from medical professionals that actually strive to do their jobs well and help people. However, I am confident that a vast majority of us can easily recall bad experiences with medical professionals who either didn’t know what they were talking about or just didn’t give a shit. It’s a profession like any other. Some people are going to be good, most mediocre, and some terrible.

I was able to find a lot of internal peace with myself, my past, and my future upon learning of this profession. All of those years of drug abuse, alcohol abuse, and insanity weren’t just lost. It was my education. It was my college and my graduate school. All of that negativity can be turned to something positive that I can use to help other people that really need it and are ready for it.

I spent a lot of years wondering where I was going to end up in the future- if I was going to wind up homeless or giving into those dark thoughts to kill myself. It wasn’t until I realized that my pain had value in itself that I started to find peace with myself. I threw off my desire to be perceived or accepted as “normal”. I embraced who I truly was.

And who am I? I am a Type 2 Bipolar. I’m a mostly regular guy who wants to see people have happier lives. I learned that acceptance from the “normals” is entirely irrelevant from the gangbangers, hustlers, and criminals I lived around in Detroit. For every one “hardcore mutha fucka” there were more that absolutely hated their position in life, didn’t want to be there, but had no way to escape.

This was best illustrated in an article I read a couple months back. The headline was something to the effect of “Poll Reveals Gangmembers Prefer Work Over Crime”. Now, for those of you that do not understand why that poll is retarded; let’s look at a couple quick facts. Average life expectancy of a gangmember is 25. Being in a gang means your life is going to progress on one of three avenues- the hospital, prison, or death.

Ignore the word gangmember and just think for a minute. Would you, or anyone you know, want to be in a profession that will absolutely end in death, jail, or the hospital most likely by 25? Fuck, no! Would you want to be in a position where you got to bury your friends and family members on a regular basis? No one does! The idea that a majority want that life is -fucking stupid-.

These things taught me humility. I’m not fucking important in this world and no matter how bad my shit is someone always has it worse. But I’m not stupid enough to think I can change the world. My goal is to just leave the life of the person I’m interacting with in a better state than I found it. That’s it. That’s the core of my approach towards life, towards myself, and chasing happiness.

And I’m not saying that everyone can or should be helped. I’ve met some pretty terrible people both in the ghetto and just in my general walk of life. I’ve dealt with a couple mentally ill people I would never trust or even extend a hand of friendship to because of their borderline criminal, dangerous mentalities.

But those people are relatively few and far between. They aren’t the norm by any means.

The primary point I want you to take away from this post is this- don’t be ashamed or afraid of the path you’ve walked so far. There are many ways to turn a really negative life into something positive. It may take some time, the road ahead may be completely unclear; but that doesn’t mean it’s not there.

And if you’re interested in possibly pursuing a career as a Peer Specialist; you should know that Social Security will pay for training through their vocational rehab program (provided you’re in). The training and the certification process are only about 40 hours. It differs from state to state. If you’re not on SS, a lot of times the entity that hires you will pay for the training. (Every example I’ve seen has been that they do; but I obviously can’t know every policy.)

Be good to yourself. Be a bit kinder to yourself. And don’t hesitate to say “I understand” to someone who’s struggling. You’ll meet some very interesting people. I know I have!

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Misinformation On Psychiatric Medication

Psychiatric medication is a topic that invokes mixed feelings in a lot of people. The mere mention of it will cause others to go out of their way to warn you of the dangers of it. In my experience, these well meaning people do not know what they are talking about. Their advice is damaging and can prevent others from finding wellness by filling their minds with unnecessary fear.

The single most common sentiment I hear from people is “I know someone who was on XYZ and they killed themselves! You don’t want to take that!” I hear it so often that I would venture to guess that most of you who have discussed psych medication with another uninformed party have probably heard it too. My mind is immediately filled with questions when I hear it. “Was the person taking it as scheduled? Were they communicating with their doctor when their symptoms got worse? Were they paying attention to their mentality as they changed dosages?”

The original statement doesn’t actually say anything worthwhile. It’s a statement of misunderstanding and fear. Don’t get me wrong; I don’t blame the person who is saying it. I know that they think they are doing the right thing because of the pain they have etched on their soul from the loss of someone they cared about. That doesn’t change the fact that the “advice” and fear they dole out is damaging and potentially hazardous to someone considering psych meds.

Why is it so harmful? Incorrect medication does not just send you from zero to insanity in the span of an hour or two. It’s going to take at least a couple days to even remotely approach it. A person who is taking a new medication should be very aware of what it could potentially do so they do not wake up one day and find themselves in that position. As symptoms get worse, they should be on the phone with their doctor telling them the meds are making them worse. This is even easier if there is a loved one who understands what’s going on that can pay closer attention to their behavior.

Now how many people actually do that? It’s a simple line of thinking and action that can derail serious complications with psych meds.

The only time I feel a person should not try psych meds to get Bipolar Disorder or Depression under control is if they are not ready to follow through on it. I’ve met far too many people that treat their psych meds like aspirin. “Oh, I just take it when I’m feeling off.” “I’ve missed three doses in the past week.” They don’t treat their psych meds with the respect it deserves. It is my opinion that those people should not be taking it until they are ready to commit to taking it as directed. There’s the potential for them to do far more damage to themselves than they realize.

Psych meds are a tool to help a person get well. Like any tool, it must be used safely and responsibly to prevent any unnecessary injuries. Be aware of the potential hazards of the med itself and always be on the look out for signs that it is making things worse. If it is- call your doctor and let them know. Keep pressing at it until you are able to talk to the person and get their guidance on what you should do immediately. It really is that simple. If you know you’re going to be changing meds or dosages then it should come as no surprise that there is a potential for it to go awry.

Don’t base your decision to take or not take psych medication on fear. Always examine and re-examine how your mentality is on a particular medication.

Posted in Coping, General, Self-Help | 5 Comments

Landing And Holding A Job With The ADA of 1984 #depression #bipolardisorder #mentalillness

I realize it’s been awhile since I blogged- pardon my silence. A combination of depression and a flurry of work coming in kept me fairly wrapped up. Today, I work as a freelance writer and content developer for small businesses and marketers on the internet. But before that, like so many of you, I had about 25 jobs from the time I was 17 to about 31. I thought I would share a few points with those of you struggling to find or keep jobs with similarly bad work records. Many of these protections afforded to us are thanks to the Americans with Disability Act of 1984. Learn it.

Note to non-American readers: I’ve found that many other countries have laws that provide certain protections for people with disabilities – which mental illness is normally classified as. Definitely look into any legal protections afforded to you.

Filling Out Applications
The quickest way to get your application tossed in the garbage is to list every single job you’ve had and lost. That is why we do not list them. Three is a fine number in most cases. If they provide space for more, you are not required to supply that information. You want to list the most recent job you’ve had (regardless of length) and the two longest jobs you’ve held in the past five years.

If you’ve quit because of depression or were fired because of unwell actions on the job; you can list your reason for leaving as Medical. Any lapse of employment in the time period- the reason you give is Medical. Why? Prospective employers are not permitted to inquire about medical history unless it is a sensitive job that requires that kind of screening for overall safety. (I’m pretty sure we can agree Bipolar police officers are not a great idea.) Even if the prospective employer calls a former employer, they cannot really ask much past confirming what dates you worked with the company.

The medical answer can go for any time periods that you do not want scrutinized- including those where you only held a job for a day before flipping out.

After A Hire
The first thing you should do is complete your probationary period. Probation is an easy time for employers to cut people if they want to. They will find a valid reason or they may just cut the person’s hours back to like 4-8 a week to get them to quit. Reaching the end of probation is another story.

After you have reached the end of probation, get a letter from your doctor informing the company about your mental illness to be filed with the human resource department of the company. If you are not comfortable with other people knowing about your struggles, you don’t have to tell everyone. But you do want to tell your immediate manager and the head manager just to make them aware that you do have a mental health condition that classifies as a disability.

Why are we doing this? Eventually, you’re probably going to have a mental crash. Informing your employer before it happens is a show of good faith on your behalf. That way it doesn’t seem like you’re just pulling it out of nowhere to cover your ass when things fall apart. An established history makes it easier to get approved for unpaid medical leave if necessary. Yes, unpaid leave sucks and most of us can’t afford that, but at least you’ll have a job to go back to instead of starting back at square one.

For those that can afford it- get short-term disability insurance either through your company or through a third party insurer. It typically covers up to 6 months. Anything past is considered long-term. Short-term disability does payout in the event that you need to take time off of work due to your disability. For the Bipolars- we are Bipolar forever. The medication is going to eventually need tweaked or stop working. Undoubtedly, we will end up missing chunks of work in the future. Might as well plan ahead.

Limitations
There are limits, some of which have already been mentioned. The most important to keep in mind is that the ADA does not apply to employers with under 15 employees. The legislation is written to assume it would cause undue hardship for those businesses. And, of course, businesses where safety would be a concern.

A Final Word
I realize that much of this documentation seems confrontational or purposefully evasive. I want you to understand that not every personnel director or manager is an asshole. I’ve met some very understanding people in those positions who struggled with a mood disorder, or had a family member who did, or made it very clear there was an open door to talk if it was necessary.

Unfortunately, all it takes is one asshole who has no understanding of what we live with. The rights provided to us by the ADA are there to ensure that asshole can’t make our lives miserable because of what goes on in our minds. There aren’t too many of us that can afford or want to be bouncing jobs. Good intentions don’t fill a child’s belly.

For further reading, I suggest the ADA Q&A.

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Of The Mental Health Profession And Fallibility

The quest for mental wellness is tightly intertwined with the advice and beliefs of the medical profession. The problem is that some medical professionals are not competent providers of care. The keyword is “some”. This is not an attack on the entire medical profession. The expectations that we, as a society, place on these people is entirely unrealistic. Who can spend their entire career doing any activity and not make a single error?

Instead, I’m talking about the dangerously incompetent or ignorant. Doctors, nurses, psychiatrists, therapists- they are just people. People do stupid things for misguided reasons or just plain, old-fashioned incompetence. None of us can afford to take the word of a medical professional at face value. The stakes for our personal well being are simply too high. That is why each and every person receiving care should accept the responsibility of understanding why they are doing what they are.

A good example is from a recent interaction I’ve had. A mother and father are trying to get their unstable, Bipolar daughter stable. Over the course of six months, she’s been in and out of psych wards. She’s extremely unstable to the point where she is likely to be a threat to herself or her family. The girl has seen different psychiatrists in that time frame. Every couple of weeks her medication has been changed at the behest of the doctor with the approval of her father. The father does not understand how mental illness or medicating function. It takes 4-6 weeks for several mood stabilizing medications to raise to therapeutic levels within the blood stream. It is quite likely that he, and the doctors, are making her stability worse by changing it so often.

Enough time is not given to see if the medication is functioning. Instead of using an emergency mood stabilizer to get her through the hardest times, they are changing the medication altogether. The worst part is that one of these medications may very well have worked for her. Now, she will just look back and say “Oh, I already tried that and it didn’t work” without ever reaching the point where she could tell if it actually was working or not.

The daughter and father put their blind faith in the knowledge of these “professionals”. The truth of the matter is- the medical profession is subject to the same pointless garbage that every other business is. Some people do not know what they’re talking about, others are incompetent, and still others simply don’t give a damn. The father does not have to be a doctor to look up the functionality of psych medication and find that a majority of it requires far more time to work than they are giving. That would require his accepting that he may not know everything about treating mental illness. And I’m sorry, but “liking” a doctor is no reason to assume they are competent.

I know I’ve crossed paths with many people that I’ve liked in life that have been terrible at their job. I’m sure if you think about your workplace, you can come up with a few yourself.

I get it. It sucks to watch someone you love go through such a difficult time. The desire to help is only natural. The problem is that mental wellness is not something delivered overnight. It requires patience and navigating the rough patches when they come up. Do you want the highest chance for success? Educate yourself on your (or your loved one’s) condition and how it is treated. Always ask questions. Always steer clear of any “professional” that will not answer your questions openly and help you understand.

There are plenty of wonderful, self-sacrificing, knowledgeable people involved in the mental health field; but the stakes are simply too high for us to put blind faith in anyone with regard to how we pursue our mental wellness.

Posted in General, Self-Help | 2 Comments

The Joy of Changing Antidepressants – Pt. 2 #bipolar #depression #mentalillness

So it has been a lovely, trigger-filled adventure fun time in happy land as of late. Car’s dead. Laptop cooling fan’s dead. Television’s dead. And I haven’t been able to work much due to my brain being a pile of crap. If this text isn’t to the quality that you are used to from my posts; that would be why.

I was really looking forward to trying out and moving forward on my new antidepressant until I found out that it was $200 a month. I realize what some of you are saying in your head right now.. “That’s not that much.” And you’re right, it really isn’t. However, it is just enough where I was not entirely sure if I would be able to afford it consistently. As we should all know by now; not taking a psychiatric medication at all is better than taking it once in awhile. Taking it once awhile just throws your mind on a roller coaster to who knows where.

In the meantime; I’m looking into applying for a couple of programs that I previously did not. QMB to assist with Medicare premium payments and costs in addition to prescription assistance. Until I know for sure that I can maintain regularity with the effexor, I will just have to go back to pushing myself through the depression. Oh happy days are upon us again.

I’ve also decided to reenter therapy. I feel I need to take a more active pursuit in unmaking the last 20 years of damage that major depression has done to my outward views. That coupled with the social isolation in my mind, a high-end autism indicator, has had a very negative effect on my personal interactions. If I ever want to move into face to face peer assistance, I’m going to have to be less of a train wreck socially and care more about how others initially perceive me.

As they say, first impressions are everything. And only an idiot would take a face to face first impression with me positively.

Anyway, here is my Part 2 update. I will provide more when I have something more to offer. Be well.

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The Joy Of Changing Antidepressants – Pt. 1 #bipolar #depression #mentalillness

This post will be the first in a series I will do in relation to my medication change. I hope it will provide insight into my decision making process and better facilitate your pursuit of mental stability.

Just a few days ago I realized that I was missing out on a pretty good opportunity to provide you all with some insight on medication changes. I’ve been on varying dosages of a few different medications since my diagnosis. Antidepressants are the sticking point. None of the antidepressants that I have tried have even scratched the surface except for name brand Wellbutrin. That was several years ago when I talked to my doctor about depression and far before my Bipolar diagnosis. I felt pretty good for about a week on my way into one of the worst hypomanic periods that I have had. My rage was so extreme that I almost destroyed my refrigerator door because the milk was holding it open.

Today, I take lithium to prevent me from escalating. I have not had an escalation in probably two years now. While I would love to put Wellbutrin to the test now, I have no prescription coverage. I have only been taking generic equivalents to ensure that I keep my cost of long-term treatment down just in case I come unhinged or life sets me back in the future (Which is a strategy I advocate in my Medication Strategy). Wellbutrin does have a generic equivalent that is supposed to be chemically identical to the name brand. Surfing around the internet uncovers a much different story. There are pages upon pages of complaints, requests for the FDA to investigate, and a drastic disconnect from the name brand to the generic. The primary complaints about the generic are severe weight gain, amplified depression, and stronger suicidal impulses. That is not quite what I’m looking for out of an antidepressant. The chatter is too prevalent for me to think it is just standard internet bitching.

Just a few weeks ago I ended my fluoxetine (prozac) regimen and asked my doctor for an antidepressant from the same “family” as Wellbutrin. Prozac is an SSRI whereas Wellbutrin is an SNRI. What’s the difference? They stimulate different chemical processes in the mind. Taking the prozac worked about as well as taking sugar pills. Thus I decided I wanted to try something from the SNRI family which was sort of “successful” before. The medication of choice this time around is Venlafaxine Hydrochloride Extended Release, better known as Effexor.

I have already gotten off to a bad start. I have procrastinated and put off getting my bloodwork done for my lithium level testing. I ended up stretching my initial dosage of Effexor longer because I was trying to force myself to face my social anxieties and go get the shit done at the hospital instead of a remote clinic where I normally have my appointments. That already put me slightly off balance, though I know I am and have been taking active steps to keep myself in as well of a state as I can manage.

Moral of the story? Even though I’ve written hundreds of pages on mental health, finding wellness, and so forth; I still screw up in major ways sometimes. That is exactly why I never say that “my way is the only way”. My goal is to give readers a wider understanding, more options, and hope for something better. Why even bring it up? Because every person needs to know that they will screw up, give up, or lose hope eventually. You will have to do the same thing I do; push yourself to your feet and keep going.

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