Perception is a Pain

Truth in reality is an annoying concept to deal with as a Bipolar. Some individuals find me difficult to deal with because I have virtually zero acceptance of opinions, unless that person has proved to be competent in the past. Even then, I still have difficulties accepting what they are saying as “truth” or anything other than opinion. Being Bipolar has largely grown this mentality.

The reason being is that the essence of being Bipolar and the reason it is a disability is because you start getting reality confused. Truth takes on different meanings and views. It follows in the same vein of two people looking at a dark blue shirt. One might see dark blue, one might see black. It is their perception that is different. Light in the air or defects in the eyes can be causing each of them to be interpreting it differently. Bipolar people tend to do this in many, many avenues in their life. Except for them, that dark blue shirt might appear yellow. But they -know- that shirt is yellow, not dark blue.

Things you love become things you hate, people you care for become people you despise, and things that are important can get warped into having the same value as dog shit. Being an overly logical person due to the high-end autism thing, I have found the best way for me to combat this in an unwell period is to cut away anything that could possibly be opinion. Everything. There is no opinion or shading on fact. The brain may try and twist it, warp it, and throw things on; but if I can keep in mind that those things are opinions being piled on to my fact then I can minimize their impact.

I’ve also done this through the use of writing myself notes. I’ve likened the Disorder to Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde a couple of times. In this case, I’m writing notes when I’m Dr. Jeckyll to remind Mr. Hyde that he’s fucking nuts and needs to not do anything erratic for the time being. If you’re having problems with disillusionment, this might help remind your unwell brain when it’s unwell. Something we don’t always get the opportunity for.

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On a brief aside, I read a news story today about how mental health professionals are diagnosing fictional characters with their appropriate mental disorders (if their mannerisms fit them). The idea is to raise awareness and lift stigma on mental disorders by making them more relatable to by normals. I actually think this is a pretty good idea. I’ve been trying to figure out for years how to explain what it’s like being Bipolar to people that aren’t.

The couple of examples they mentioned is how the Joker has a distinct knowledge of realizing that what he is doing is wrong. Hence he would end up in jail not an actual asylum. Darth Vader was cited as having strong tendencies with Borderline Personality Disorder due to his actions through the movies and his youth.

I guess some psychiatrists have actually did some panel work at comic book conventions talking about different villains and heroes and their mentality. This was met with pretty favorable reception and at capacity audiences. Though some critics are saying its bad because people could start say, associating Borderline people as Darth Vaders. Which personally, I don’t think has a damned remote possibility of occurring. I don’t think anyone would be clinging that much to the idea to bother to promote the negative connotation. I think its far more likely that the people that were interested or garnered interest in it would remain so. And the people that weren’t would dismiss it to the back of their minds.

But hey, what do I know?

Nightfall
The darkest time arriving
Look into the mirror of madness
Drown in the chasm of sadness
– Norther “Norther”

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