Bipolar, OCD, ADHD, PTSD, and Panic Disorder, Oh My! #MentalHealth #Bipolar #Depression #PTSD #ADHD #OCD

So yeah, that’s me. My name is Kimberly McPherson and I am a type 1 rapid cycling Bipolar with OCD, PTSD, ADHD, and panic disorder. Yes, it may seem like I have been tagged with pretty much every label known to man but honestly it could be worse.

I was diagnosed at the age of 19 but like many others, I knew for a long time that something wasn’t quite right with me. At fist I tried to shove my diagnoses to the back of my mind and continue on with my life but as time passed I knew it was something I needed to take seriously.

Once I honestly harnessed my disorders I knew I couldn’t do it alone so I set out on a mission to find help. The first thing I needed to accomplish was finding a psychiatrist that fully understood what I was dealing with and wouldn’t just see me as a number. I was graced with an exceptional doctor that saw me as a person and not just a label. It took many tries but I finally found the perfect fit for me.

With the help of my doctor I came to the conclusion that I needed to be medicated in order for me to be a functioning member of society. I hated the thought that I needed to take medicine in order to fully survive but I knew that continuing to hurt myself wasn’t the answer.

You see, at the time of my diagnosis, I was a full fledged suicidal anorexic, bulimic, and self mutilator. I was told by many doctors that I probably wouldn’t live to see my 20th birthday. Boy, how I have proved them wrong. I reluctantly accepted help for my eating disorders and self mutilation and now I look back and thank God that I did.

Once I was medicated properly life started to make sense. The things I used to think and say were terrible. I would lash out at anyone and everyone. I truly didn’t mean any harm, I just didn’t understand why I hated myself so much. I now see the error of my ways. I was mistreated and misunderstood for the most part of my life. It took years of therapy for me to see that I didn’t have to look at myself the way I thought others did. I thought everyone hated me but in all honesty they just didn’t understand and wanted to help. The things people would say were things like “you’re too skinny” or “boy you’re touchy” and to me they sounded like “I hate you”. Now, I understand that it was my illnesses that made me think that way.

So, how do I deal with them now? Well, that’s a great question. The number one thing I must continue to do is take my medication as prescribed and at the same time every day. It seems like an incredible task just keeping up with all of it but once you get the hang of it the schedule gets easier and easier with passing time.

The second thing I must do is take care of myself. This includes taking vitamins (I take a multi vitamin for stress, vitamin D3, a B complex vitamin, a formulation of great minerals and vitamins called lights on from a company called Dynamaxx (this formulation has helped me to be able to get off most of my ADHD meds), and most importantly an awesome omega 3 vitamin). The omega 3’s I take are from the makers of Nordic Naturals called Ultimate Omega’s. I take 4 of these suckers a day. I found out about them through a Harvard study done on depression and honestly the mix of the Omegas with my medication has changed my outlook on things drastically. I can tell a huge difference between when I take them and when I don’t. If you or anyone you know has a mental illness I highly recommend adding these amazing vitamins to your health regimen.

On the same note of taking care of myself I also try to soak in at least 30 minutes of sunshine daily, get some exercise at least 3 times a week (walking, yoga, or riding my bike), and I try to do a meditation exercise daily. I  found a great chakra realignment meditation video that takes about 10 minutes and it thoroughly changes my outlook every time I do it. I can feel the balancing act happen throughout the video.  I also try and eat properly and if I can’t do that I drink Ensure to get in the proper nutrients that my body needs.

The third thing I try to do is stay connected to my creator. I am a firm believer in the power of God (I believe in the Holy Trinity, The Father, The Son (Jesus), and The Holy Spirit (that resides in you when you accept God into your life).  It is such a simple thing to do yet it is life altering. John 3:16 states:

“For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.” What this verse means is that if you believe that Jesus Christ was real and died on the cross for your sins, then you are saved and get a free ticket to heaven. Oh, and how glorious that day will be when I get to go to heaven. From what I understand there will be no pain, no torment, no disease, no mental illness, just peace and joy when you enter the gates of heaven. This gives me hope that all the suffering that I have been through will not be in vain and one day all of my suffering will vanish in the blink of an eye.

I’m not here to try to win anyone over I am simply stating what has helped me. I did not always believe in the power of God, it was something that I had to witness for myself. At first I mainly believed in Buddhist principles and thought that if I was to create good karma then that karma would come back around to  me.  I still believe in this however, now I am a believer in Jesus Christ. The only way I came to know this power was when I was once hospitalized for my panic disorder because I couldn’t stop having panic attacks, I was having about 30 a day.

During one of my bouts of panic I remembered what a friend once told me about saying “In the name of Jesus I command all evil to leave.” I cried out to God and screamed “in the name of Jesus I command all evil to leave”. It was in that moment that the panic vanished and great, comforting, white light filled my hospital room and filled me with peace. I was frightened at first but the beautiful white loving light made me feel a peace that I never felt before. It was strange because there were no windows in that hospital room for light to enter so I know for a fact that it was the grace of God that banished the demons from my sight and saved me from my panic.

Ever since the moment that God banished these demons I have been a believer. I am not saying that I do not struggle, I’m not saying that at all. I still struggle every day to keep sane and at peace but with the help of God I have been able to tackle the most evil thoughts you could ever imagine. Through prayer, meditation, and constant research in the Holy Scripture I have been able to move mountains. This instance was the first of many to come but it was the one that won me over.

So there you have it, the short story of me, my struggles and how I have been able to deal with them. I hope that this story helps you in some way and I encourage you to ask as many questions as possible. I will do my best to answer them and if I can’t answer them I will find someone who can. So, go ahead comment as much as you like and I will be here to assist in any way possible.

Much love and abundant blessings to you all,

Kimmy

http://www.withoutalabel.me

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About kimmymc80

I recently started Without A Label as an outlet for me to pour my heart and soul into. I often blog about how I have dealt with or overcome many obstacles in my life like an eating disorder, abuse, depression, bipolar disorder, PTSD, OCD, ADHD, and panic disorder. I would like to say that my blog is a source of inspiration for those that may be struggling with the cards they have been dealt in life. Here is some info about me: Born Kimberly Lyann Hearn May 8, 1980 in Houston, TX. I was blessed with a wonderful loving mother and a rotten, abusive biological father. In 1984 my older brother, Chris, and I were adopted by my "step-father" (I hate that term because I consider him my real Father) and became Kimberly Lyann McPherson. During that same time we moved to The Woodlands, TX and my little sister, Jennifer, was born. Growing up I always looked up to my "step father" (Ronald McPherson) as my real father. I have been completely blessed in the Family department. If it wasn't for my wonderful parents and a village of angels I would not be here today. God has shown me time and time again that He comes first and He is in control, not me. I find that I sometimes have a daily struggle with trying to take back control from God, but I always learn in some way or another that I am not the one in charge, He is! I would like to live my life as an example for Christ! I am so completely imperfect and a horrible sinner, yet Jesus still died on the cross for me so that I may be clean. I thank God daily for sending Jesus for all of us because I know how much I need it. Without God I Would not be here! Yes, I know it all sounds too good to be true but I'm being completely honest when I say that God has saved my life. Call me what you wish, it will not change the fact that I am a child of God. It was the peaceful angels of grace that comforted me during my hardest struggles and continue to watch over me from day to day. I can honestly say that I am a walking miracle!
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20 Responses to Bipolar, OCD, ADHD, PTSD, and Panic Disorder, Oh My! #MentalHealth #Bipolar #Depression #PTSD #ADHD #OCD

  1. avatar Grimm says:

    Thanks for this great introduction Kimberly. Great to have a contributor with your perspective and methodology putting herself out there.

    -Dennis

  2. avatar Nancy Love says:

    Hi Kimmy, I found out about you through Dennis. I have enjoyed reading about you and am looking forward to reading more!

  3. avatar kimmymc80 says:

    Thanks Nancy, it was my pleasure!

  4. avatar pj sharon says:

    WOW, Kim, amazing story. I’m always blown away by God’s infinite love and the ways in which he reveals himself. Thanks for sharing your incredible journey.

  5. Pingback: Overcoming Anxiety and Dealing With Panic Disorder | Without A Label

  6. avatar shirlie says:

    hi kim,
    i know how you feel.
    i have lots of mental disorders too, like OCD,borderline personality disorder,ADD,self harm,panic attacks,GAD,phobias….
    if you wanna talk with somebody who been threw what you been threw,you can always talks to me:)

    • avatar kimmymc80 says:

      Awe, thanks Shirlie. That means so much to me. I will definitely take you up on that offer one day. I am here for you as well. Sorry it took so long for me to answer you, I have just been through four major surgeries and I had to take a lot of time off. Anyway, just remember that I am here for you as well and to keep taking care of yourself.
      Much love and abundant blessings,
      Kim

  7. avatar Scottie says:

    Thank you so much for your story. You really inspire me to not give up. I just was diagnosed with ultra rapid bipolar I, OCD and PTSD. And no one understands how difficult it is to leave il with it on the daily bases. But after I read your story I will implement majority if not all of your ways. You do the main thing: take care of the body and soul and the rest will come. Once again thank you!

    • avatar kimmymc80 says:

      Scottie, you are way more than welcome. You have just inspired me to keep on writing and posting. I figured that since I have endured so much pain and agony on my journey, the least I could do is to put my story out there and try my best to help others. If you ever feel like you are alone just remember there is one person out there that cares for you and is always there for you, that would be me if ya didn’t catch that

  8. avatar im.a.kimmy.too says:

    Kim, I am scanning the articles about combinations of different types of mental disorders because I feel…well… lost would be a good word. First it was generalized anxiety disorder, then social anxiety disorder, then ADHD and depression, OCD, and possibly but not officially diagnosed bipolar. Over the last 2-3 years I feel as if so many things in my life have added to the stress that seems to magnify the symptoms of some of these disorders. I lost what little faith I had – I even at one time stopped believing there is a God at all. Recent events have restored my faith in a way that one would think would just further take it away. My sister who is only 47 lost her battle with cancer one week ago today after a very long 30 day stay in hospice inpatient care. She was like my mother since my own mother died when I was only 16. I just feel numb, but there were certain things that happened that in my mind can only be explained as intervention from God. I have never had any type of counseling, but I am seriously considering that option. I lot of things you said in your posts sounded like something exactly what I have thought before but never put into words. Your gave me inspiration and hope that I can have a “normal” life – that is all I have truly ever wanted. I guess seeing my own name and nickname on your post compelled me to read it but I am so glad I did. Thank you for sharing.

    • avatar kimmymc80 says:

      I’m so glad I could help you in some way or another, I pray you continue to fight and stay true to yourself. I will continue to pray for you in as many ways as possible. It makes me happy that just by being myself I could somehow help someone else. I am also pleased to know that you have kept your faith through all of those tremendously awful experiences. I truly hope you continue to look to your creator for guidance. If there is any other way I can help please don’t hesitate to let me know.
      Blessings and love,
      Kimmy

  9. avatar Wilber Likar says:

    Academic difficulties are also frequent. The symptoms are especially difficult to define because it is hard to draw a line at where normal levels of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity end and clinically significant levels requiring intervention begin. To be diagnosed with ADHD, symptoms must be observed in two different settings for six months or more and to a degree that is greater than other children of the same age.

  10. avatar Bibi Kingen says:

    People with panic disorder have sudden and repeated attacks of fear that last for several minutes. Sometimes symptoms may last longer. These are called panic attacks. Panic attacks are characterized by a fear of disaster or of losing control even when there is no real danger. A person may also have a strong physical reaction during a panic attack. It may feel like having a heart attack. Panic attacks can occur at any time, and many people with panic disorder worry about and dread the possibility of having another attack.,”,;

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  11. avatar Dinesh says:

    I am also suffering with Bipolar, OCD, ADHD, PTSD, and Panic Disorder…. Your article is really nice. If multivitamins really help in ADHD, I must try it.

    Thanks

  12. avatar Melanie says:

    Thank you for sharing your story. It gives me hope and strength during my time of struggle.

  13. avatar Jessica says:

    I was just wondering, what medications did your doctor put yp on, bc I have been diagnosed with the same and really don’t want to take a lot of different medications. I am on some medication for a few of these diagnosis, but just wondering and I’m just curious what your doctor put you on.. 🙂

    • avatar Dennis says:

      What medications I am on is irrelevant to your own journey. Each of us has a brain chemistry that is unique to us. It’s what makes it so difficult to find meds that work for us. What works for me, may not work worth a shit for you. The best thing you can do is talk to your doctor and figure out how to move forward with them.

  14. avatar Joseph A. says:

    I see what your saying Dennis but it would be nice to hear the medications from you or Kimmy that are used for these illness’s. See I have been dealing with these issues for over 10 years, mostly just avoiding them and masking them with substance abuse. Now I am waiting to see a psychiatrist and want to explain whats going on and get on the right medication. My biggest obstacle is being able to explain whats going on and be understood, I have had doctors in the past just brush it off and tell me to relax. Very frustrating!

    • avatar Dennis says:

      Hello, Joseph. Just a note, I edited your display name to remove your last name. You should never discuss mental health with your full name attached so it doesn’t get associated in search engines if a potential employer or third party should happen to google your name.

      What medications we use is irrelevant to you. You see, every single person has a brain chemistry that is unique to them, like their fingerprints. When it comes to psych meds, what works for me may do absolutely nothing or be incredibly harmful to you. This is one of my major pet peeves with a lot of internet information on the subject. It doesn’t matter if it works for me, doesn’t work for me, or if it caused horrible side effects in me; because the only way that you’ll actually know if it works well for you with manageable side effects is to take it as directed and see what it does. That’s it. There’s no other way to know. Everything else is as good as a random guess.

      If you’ve been on this grind for ten years and you’re finally ready to get well, it’s going to be hard thing to face but you’re going to have to have patience. It takes time to find medication that works well for you. It doesn’t happen overnight. You just have to keep going, using it as directed, analyzing what it does to you, and working with your professional to find something that lets you live your life.

      I very much feel you on the frustration of mental health. There are a lot of professionals out there who are just not good at their jobs or who don’t care. What I did before my screening was sit down and draw up a list of everything I could remember and identify that was weird or abnormal. That gave me time to figure out how to express everything before I was put on the spot by sitting in the appointment. Erratic emotions, my awful work history, all of the things I lost and the reasons why (college, jobs, relationships), suicidal thoughts and ideation, the delusion. Everything.

      Grab a pad of paper and a pen, find a quiet spot, and work to get it out of your mind and expressed. It will help a lot to have it drawn out instead of just trying to think about it. That should help you communicate it to the doctor. Hopefully, they will be a good one and you can get on a better path. If they aren’t, find another if you can.

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