I haven’t been posting much because I have been taking care of a mentally unwell friend, my elderly grandmother, and an elderly dog. I figured since they love me so much, the least I can do is to take care of them when times get rough. I fully believe in the theory that you get what you give. Therefore I try my best to give as much love as possible.
When it comes to my dog and my grandmother I know they will never lead me astray or try to use me. However, when it comes to my friend, I have a different concern. The thing is I feel like I am enabling her to continue to make the wrong decisions when getting into relationships. I tell her constantly that she needs to learn to love herself without a man before entering a relationship. She says she agrees but her actions are different. Because of her recent actions, of entering into another unhealthy relationship while trying to keep it secret from me, I have packed my things and left her house to go home. I don’t mind helping others, I actually love it, but I DO NOT like being used, abused, or lied to.
After rushing to my friends side, when she called me to tell me that she didn’t think she should be alone, I stayed with her in a city 45 minutes away from where I live. For days I listened and hugged her back to health and the second she started feeling better she decided to go for a ride on her motorcycle by herself. I thought nothing of this but she returned with a big ol’ grin on her face like she had fallen in love. Come to find out she had begun to date another biker and “forgot” to tell me about it. It really wouldn’t be any of my business but it seems like I am the person she calls to rescue her the second these relationships turn to crap. So, it does make it my business. I reiterated how I felt and decided to head home to take care of my dog and grandmother.
You see my dog is 13 and is slowly going downhill. She has bad hips and can barely walk. Also, she is forced to live outside, which I think is cruel, and constantly has new bites on her body. I absolutely hate this for her because her kisses and love are the greatest medicine I have ever received. Oxytocin is my favorite drug. Oxytocin is that feel good chemical that is released when you hug someone or your pet for more than 20 seconds. I love it. She constantly gives me a boost of oxytocin, love , and doggie kisses while I give her hugs, do Reiki on her hips and back, and lightly massage her.
Well, my parents don’t know this, but I have snuck her into my room right now and we are cuddling. I am typing this with one hand and rubbing her with the other. She is in heaven loving every second of this. I don’t quite know what I’m going to do when I have to feed her and let her go potty, but I guess I’ll figure that out when the time comes. Right now I am soaking up all of the love I can get. She currently has her head in my lap staring at the computer screen while I try to type.
I know we are down to the last few days with her so I am trying to do everything in my power to make her happy. For now, that means she is allowed to stink up my room and slobber all over everything I own. I really could care less. To be honest with you I don’t know what I’m going to do when I no longer have her. I don’t even want to think of it.
My dog can make me go from depressed to laughing uncontrollably at her licking my tears away. She is probably one of the best serotonin boosting things I have ever found. She helps my mental health more than I can even put into words. I know I am going to need to reach out once I have to put her down. Until then, we will be huddled up in my room cuddling and trying to not make a sound. Who knows when we will get caught by my dad. It may just be a war!
Oh crap, she just sneezed really loud! Noooooo! Not my best friend, you can’t take her. Love me, love my dog, or else!