Disclaimer

Disclaimer

I am not a trained, certified mental health professional. I am not a medical professional. I am not a legal professional. I do not provide medical advice or legal advice of any kind. I do not provide crisis services, therapy, diagnosis, or any other type of clinical assistance. The only person who can make the right decisions for a person’s mental health care are that person with a licensed mental health professional.

By accessing any of my material or services, you agree that your decisions about your life and mental health are yours alone. Speak to your mental health professional BEFORE you make any changes to the way you manage your mental illness, medication, or treatment.

I am a mentally ill person with lived experience and reasonable knowledge of many aspects of life with mental illness, seeking meaningful help, and the confusing gray area that surrounds it all. That’s it. Nothing more.

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Any information you see presented on this site is used with express permission from that person. Do NOT use your full or real name in public spaces (such as blog comments or forums) when discussing mental illness. Search engines can and will associate your name with the posting and it will turn up if someone, such as a loved one or a potential employer, decides to look up your name.

I will not sell or share any of your information with anyone. I do not disclose any information shared with me without express consent. Your privacy is important to me.

6 Responses to Disclaimer

  1. Tess says:

    Kinda like reading my own thoughts. My hostile racing mind. Sometimes I am so nice, so caring, so happy, so funny. Sometimes I hate myself and the whole world. And right now I am angry at people who think mania is fun. And the people who think hipolar is fun and ‘ you are never bored right?’ And tired of others who have some kind of trauma thinking I have this great insight because I am still alive and I can ‘manage’
    They will never know how scary it is, how any day is a good day to die, happy or sad.
    I am doing the best I can on the only medicine I can physically tolerate. And I wish people would stop saying ‘ I hope you feel better’ when I tell them I don’t feel all that sociable. I feel good when I am alone. I feel bad if I think I may have hurt some’s feeling, then I get angry because why should their feelings be hurt by me just wanting to be left alone? Why would anyone need me? ( yeah, I can hear it too…the irritable hypo manic almost fully manic kinda mixed tangent) I know this irrational stuff will just be gone in a day or week. And then I will be peaceful and maybe even silly again. Always wonder though, what kind of marks I am leaving on my family? I can see and hear myself going ‘insane’ but it’s like I can’t do anything about it. How is that fun or ‘ not boring’ ? Wily enough to not go to the doc in this state. I’m in no danger and no one else is, as long as I can get to solitude. And thankfully, my family understands and no one questions me locking myself in my room. It’s safe in there, a little neutral sanctuary. Thank you for this page. For some weird reason, reading another mind like mine is strangely comforting. You can read about symptoms from dry academic sites, but seeing someone else cuss themselves out in their head…yeah, comforting. I am not special just because I survived this long, i don’t have wisdom and I have no control. I wish people would realize that and stop asking me for help.

    • Dennis says:

      Heya Tess. Thanks for taking the time to comment.

      I can relate to a lot of what you said. I call myself an “introvert by nature, an extrovert by choice”. I am perfectly content to spend time by myself or with one or two very close people. It’s how I recharge my batteries and work towards my own internal balance if I’m kind of fluctuating. That way I can cuss myself out in my brain in peace.

      I have pre-prepared phrases for dealing with the kinds of folks you are talking about too. I used to very much be in the same camp of just being bitterly annoyed with everyone. But then I came to the realization that many of those people were just trying to express sympathy and understanding for something they were incapable of grasping. Normally, that would be seen as a good thing. But oh no, not when the Disorder is driving. These fucking assholes bothering me with their patronizing bullshit. No patience, no understanding of my own to give; because I was unstable and unable at the time.

      Nowadays, I just say thank you. For the people that think it’s silly or fun; I recite my list of shit that I’ve destroyed and lost because of the Disorder. Then I look at them and simply say – “There’s nothing fun or exciting about this mental illness. It’s just misery, chaos, and loss – even when I’m escalated.”

      It’s an extrovert’s world; and that’s why we have to listen to so many people tell us they hope we feel better even though we’re fine with peace, quiet, and solitude. Everyone else isn’t going to change. So I put it back on myself, I say something like, “Hey y’all can have your socialization. Give me a good book or quality thinking time and I’m good to go.”

      It took a lot of work, but I found that changing my own point of view on what these people expressed to me made it all much easier to digest.

      Probably the most important thing for who I am today was the realization that no one will ever “understand” what I have been through. No one will “understand” what you have been through. They weren’t in your mind to feel what you felt, experience what you experienced. I used to get really angry about that. Especially angry because I was around so many people that overlooked how severely unwell I was for years and years because they did not have the context to understand what I was going through. And I see that a lot with other people who have suffered a lot.

      “No one understands what I’ve been through.” And you’re right. No one does. And no one, other than you, ever will. However, there are many people in the world that have walked parallel on similar roads to yours. They have their own damage, their own traumas, their own misery and suffering. That way it doesn’t become a competition of who has had it the worst, which I see happen a lot. And personally, I just feel like I’m further down the road I walk, putting up billboards to point people in better directions or encourage them to keep walking. And I don’t have to be on their path or “understand” their pain to be sympathetic to theirs.

      I know it’s scary and shitty. And from your allusion of what meds do to you, I’m guessing you’ve explored that pretty heavily.

      Have you explored Cognitive Behavioral Therapy techniques much? CBT is focused around working to manage and change one’s thought processes to help minimize and pull in extreme unwell swings. All of the stuff I’ve talked about changing my own thoughts on in this reply is stuff I worked towards changing with the help of techniques I learned in the year and a half I spent in CBT. I’m not suggesting it is an alternative to the stability that meds actually provide or that it will solve all your problems or anything. I can tell you it is very useful in nipping those thought processes in the bud that threaten to drop me into depression. I may start thinking about “oh you know fuck this fucking asshole and their stupid bullshit opinions”; but when I realize it I force myself to step away and think about something else instead. I put my focus on something else entirely so my Bipolar brain can’t take it and run away with it.

      It’s hard to do. I’ve been working on it for years. But I feel like it is an essential block in the foundation of my wellness and I think may help you keep your thoughts from running away too far without you.

      Annnnnnnnnd you know, not to be a marketing hack about myself or anything, but you can always point those people asking for insight to my URL. Attempting to provide insight and input is sort of a thing I do. A simple, “I don’t have much to tell you myself, but check out this guy’s website.” Yay for self-promotion. šŸ™‚

      Anyway, I’m glad that my method of expression and what I choose to write about is relatable for you, Tess. I’ve had many people suggest that I sugar-coat things or make them more “professional”; but my goal was never to reach a huge audience. It was to reach people like I used to be and yourself. People that were tired of the stupid bullshit that often swirls around all of this; just as a reminder that hey, you aren’t alone in all of this.

      And you’re not. As I previously stated, I’ll never know your pain or understand everything you’ve been through. My road is a different one, but we are heading in a similar direction.

      Feel free to email me anytime if you’d like to talk, Tess. dennis@bipolarmanifesto.com

      Thank you for taking the time to read my work, for your comment, and your thoughts. I truly do appreciate it.

  2. Rem says:

    Hello Dennis I have a bipolar sister that has thoughts of her childhood being bad and how bad my mom was (of course none of it true) there were 4 of us kids and she is the only one who sees this terrible childhood “that Never happened ” she attacks my 70 year old mother and she is now 50 and no one has ever even heard her bring up any of this before. She now thinks we are all against her and her kids and she is saving them from us. She is either not on her meds or quit taking them but she had us all blocked and said if any of us try to contact her she will call the cops! We just do not know what to do any more. She is verbally being so abusive to my mom. And she wont get help cause its not her its us. Please any suggestions would help

    • Dennis says:

      Hello, Rem. In this kind of situation, all you can really do is ensure your mother stays protected and healthy. That may mean she needs to limit her exposure to your sister. What is your sister’s access to your mother?

      Also, it is very common for Bipolar unwellness to cause delusional thinking. So don’t draw the conclusion that she is just making it up and lying about it; because if she really believed it happened then she might do something like report it to the cops or something extreme like that. The most important thing, right now, is ensuring your mother is going to be safe. If anything, you may also want to urge your mother to talk to a counselor or seek out a Bipolar support group (they welcome friends and family most of the time); to get more meaningful help with drawing boundaries and limiting the damage that your sister can do to your lives. I would even recommend a counselor because, if your sister refuses to help herself, your mother may need to distance herself from her completely; and that is a hard, hard thing for a mother to accept.

      Given that your sister is 50 and refusing meds and treatment; I would be surprised if the situation gets better on it’s own.

      If your sister is threatening suicide, violence, or being violent in any way; notify local authorities immediately.

  3. qwert says:

    Yeah Your a soothe sayer.
    A licker of light during a long cold moonless winters night .
    A telephone line form your end to mine.
    A friend
    qwert(aka qwert)

    • Dennis says:

      Thanks for the kind words, qwert. I do appreciate them.

      Also: Don’t use your full name on anything public when talking about your mental illness online. Google will associate your name with your posts eventually. I went ahead and edited out your real name and replaced it with qwert. So, keep it in mind for the future for your security!

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